I'm bacckkkkkk!

Back to blogging once again, partly for lack of anything better to do and partly to see if i'm still capable of stringing together coherent sentences. I haven't much to write about, really, which is a fact that depresses me altogether.

In the past two months i have watched a ridiculous amount of DVDS, most of which were incredibly bad, watched around seven movies at the cinema- Stardust, December Boys, One More Chance, Enchanted, Beowulf,Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium, The Golden Compass- all of which were quite good,some even exceptional, except for Beowulf which in my personal opinion, was a complete fiasco.

I've also downloaded and listened to pretty much all of the episodes of Pottercast and read and replied to a fair number of posts on Leaky Lounge (a Harry Potter discussion board of sorts), watched all the HP movies again, and am currently on my nth re-read of GOF, the 4th book in the series. Thankfully, I am pretty sure no one reads my blog, thus i am allowed the luxury of remaining a closet-dork. Note to self: this unhealthy obsession is usually at it's strongest when one is in need of good-old fasioned escapism.

And on that reflective note, i shall end this post. I hope everyone has a magical Christmas.

Stardust

Watched Stardust today with Roni and Andrea. It was fantastic! Go see it,friends. It's one of the best films i've seen in a long time.

I shall write this down so I remember it. I am quite possibly overly emotional but this part just killed me.

"You know when I said I knew little about love? That wasn't true. I know a lot about love. I've seen it, centuries and centuries of it, and it was the only thing that made watching your world bearable. All those wars. Pain, lies, hate... It made me want to turn away and never look down again. But when I see the way that mankind loves... You could search to the furthest reaches of the universe and never find anything more beautiful. So yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing, and... What I'm trying to say, Tristan is... I think I love you. Is this love, Tristan? I never imagined I'd know it for myself. My heart... It feels like my chest can barely contain it. Like it's trying to escape because it doesn't belong to me any more. It belongs to you. And if you wanted it, I'd wish for nothing in exchange - no fits. No goods. No demonstrations of devotion. Nothing but knowing you loved me too. Just your heart, in exchange for mine. "

Till we meet again, Harry Potter.

It should not be over. The magic is not supposed to go away.

Fast forward.

While sorting through groceries today, Stepfather asked me an interesting question:
"Fast forward 10 years, What do you think you'll remember most about your life now?"

This really made me think. It bothered me, to be quite honest. I haven't done anything note-worthy. I have no major accomplishments to speak of.

So what would i remember?
I guess I'd remember the haziness, mostly. You know the expression "If you can remember the 60's then you weren't there." Well similarly, I probably wouldn't remember names or faces or any of the things that matter in history books. But I'd remember feelings. I'd remember poignant little details: the way the city looks at dawn, the bitter aftertaste of cigarettes, the laughter, nights that never seemed to end, and the nights we never wanted to end.

I'd remember the intensity. I'd remember the terrific highs, and the worst possible lows. I'd remember our indifference, to everything that didn't concern us. Still, we had passion. However misguided , we had it in grand proportions. How else would you explain that lust for life? 'Cause that's what it was, for me anyway. I longed for life- real life, the passion, the pain, and everything mixed up into one. I wanted to FEEL 'til i could no longer bear it.
Think about it: If you can look back 10 years from now and say that you really lived, what else is there?

I think life, in itself, is a worthy ambition.

Blogging is productive.

I'm baacckkk. yes, for the first time since I've been back in Cebu, i have wholeheartedly committed myself to fighting the urge to go out every night, come home at an ungodly hour, whilst accomplishing absolutely nothing.

Instead, i am creating the possibility of being productive (hence the blogging). As of the moment, i am not sure what my productivity will entail, but am confident nonetheless.
I am in quite the hopeful mood today, having started off the day well, waking up at noon, taking a cab to Kat's house (quite liberating and amusing as i had the loveliest conversation with the taxi driver), taking another cab with Kat to Fuente to buy siomai, got the wrong sauce but enjoyed it nonetheless.

Possibly annoyed Kat with my endless chit-chat about how good I'm feeling and my plans on going on all kinds of intellectually and physically stimulating (non-sexual) adventures. I want to evolve, see. I need to regrow brain cells. And yes, it is possible, i googled it.

I want to read more. I've been habitually re-reading old books, which doesn't really count . I want to watch great films that INSPIRE. I'm starting to sound evangelical, i know.

Anyway, Kat's mom arrived and invited me to go to a wedding reception, which i did, and i had wonderful time. The theme of the wedding was something like rainbow-dark colors or something strange like that . The reception area was something out of an acid trip, with laser lights changing colors every millisecond and projections of random objects blooming, spinning or floating around on every wall, and there were so many video presentations and slideshows of the couple in such cliche locations in the funniest poses. It was all so corny and over the top, i actually found it charming. I swear, i did not roll my eyes once.

When i got home, i watched An Inconvenient Truth by Davis Guggenheim. It struck me in all the right places. I actually cried. And this is a documentary on global warming with a politician, not really something to get emotional about. Especially since i am not entirely fond of Al Gore, though i kind of respect what he's doing. I thought the documentary glorified him too much, it was sort of like watching a very long campaign commercial.

Okay, so i started crying when they showed this cute animated polar bear struggling to get on a block of ice, which broke and left him/her drowning. This, people, is reason enough to help stop global warming.

I know i make it sound light-hearted, but really, this is serious stuff that goes beyond helpless furry creatures. I don't want to bore anyone with my inarticulate explanations on how to save the planet so check out: www.climatecrisis.net for more information. Maybe I'll post a lengthier and more convincing entry about this soon, complete with online petitions, Co2 emission charts and testimonials on what a swell guy Al Gore is.

For now, i am going to enjoy our beautiful planet before global warming catches up with us and destroys us all.

Science of Sleep

Everything will turn out the way you want,
if you'd just stop doubting that i love you.

NOSTALGIA

It's been exactly one week since i was home (without my parents' knowledge) and i am already suffering from withdrawal.

So here's a list of the things i miss most about Cebu:

My lovely hostess Val who put my plane ticket on her credit card, picked me up from the airport, fed me ( sonja's cupcakes!), dragged her sick self to Loft and woke up at an
UNGODLY hour to let me in the house. I LOVE YOU VALERIE!

SEX TALK with a shockingly experienced certain someone, her knowledge on a wide array of contraceptives( including vibrating ones!) plus demonstrations on certain sexual positions that I have been advised to 'try sometime'. You know who you are, and i miss you dearly!

Cigarette breaks, lesbo kisses, drunken mistakes, wake up calls, relationship analysis, pigging out, 300, learning THE lingo with RONI

Katsua- dressing me up, fixing my hair, doing my make-up, bitch fits- with me (for moving too much) and ahem someone else (for undisclosed reasons)

our conversations/confessions....

"NABUANG NA KA?!", "AMBUT NIMU SAMELISE OI!"

which (despite my fear of the Queen's WRATH) eventually led to...

"Kevs, you know ill always be here maski ma unsa paka"

and the brutal honesty that can only come from someone who loves you unconditionally.

PAOIE BITCH, we're losing our touch aren't we? It's time for a comeback!

- our BESO contest!
( i love your hair!, nice shoes!, you look great!, wanna fuck? etcetera etcetera)
- our failed efforts to look cool
- disgusting tequila shots
- conversations on how FANTASTIC 300 is!
-SHAWARMA time (KAYATA LAMIA DOH!)
-vivid descriptions of the female genitalia- a topic that never fails to amuse us.

i can go on and on, but it would fill up this entire post.

One day, i shall create a masterful work of art, dedicated solely to you and our adventures together, my book worthy friend.

KAT, my best best friend , who, after a few glasses of WENG-WENG (which is the new cool drink in Cebu, yes?) said to me:

"Luod lagi kaayu ni, mas lami jud toh ang GINPO sa inyung balay"

after which, i informed her,

"that's cause di mana ginpo, weng- weng mana"

We, of course, found this terribly amusing. Forgive us, we were drunk.

We then tried to determine what exactly is in this Weng- Weng drink.

We couldn't quite figure it out, and no one else seemed to know. So we moved on to other things, like VODKA downed with tap water.

TEVES- who put on his shoes and left his big bag at home to come to Vudu with us, got me free drinks, helped SEXIFY me, bought me a HELLOKITTY ring (which scraped my skin off), shared my affinity for LE DISKO (spock rocker with your dirty eyes) and in the spirit of appearing soshal - ordered a white chocolate martini.

Thank you for putting up with me despite my hormonal lapses in judgement. You know i love you, dearest

MITZVIKKI- cause she's Mitz, and everyone loves Mitz! her sweetness, her thoughtfulness, her impossible perkiness, her sugar-free cookies, and just the things she says that bring out the best in even the most cynical of us.

Yes, i miss Cebu. TERRIBLY.

I miss SIOMAI SA TISA and SINANGAG.

I miss LECHON AND PUSO.

I miss thinking "I feel like going to the beach today" and actually being ABLE to.

I miss how you can leave home ten minutes before the start of a movie and still catch all the trailers.

I miss how you can't go anywhere without running into someone you know. (which i forgot, hence my appearance in Ayala looking like a crack whore)

I miss hanging out, for hours at a time, in Eastwest or Starbucks (downstairs).

I miss not having to think about what I'm going to say before i say it.

I miss my friends, more than anything.

I miss the easy existence of being with the people i love- and not having to constantly work on things and relationships as we do here.

Every day i wake up in this city, is a struggle to find a reason to stay.